


Blind Hearts

by PrincessAmericaChavez



Series: Fjord Is O'blivious To Ljove [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: EVERYONE IS PINING OKAY, F/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Caleb, Pining Fjord, Pining Jester, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 20:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmericaChavez/pseuds/PrincessAmericaChavez
Summary: Some questions are hard to ask, some answers are painful to give, some hearts are built to ache.





	Blind Hearts

“Hey, Caleb?” Fjord’s voice startles him out of his reading. 

“Ja?”

“Can I- can I ask you about something?” The sailor asks, unusually hesitant.

Caleb frowns, distrustful, but nods once. It’s odd enough that Fjord would approach him willfully, he’s not about to screw it up with the wrong answer. Still, he feels the other hesitate for an instant before he finally says:

“You mentioned before that you had a girlfriend, right?”

Astrid’s memory hurts him, like red hot iron pressing between his ribs. He can’t find his own voice, so he nods again.

“What- If you don’t mind me asking, what was that like?”

The wizard’s frown deepens. “How do you mean, Fjord?”

He can see panic flash briefly through the other man’s features but manages to hold his gaze firmly, waiting for an explanation. He’s not about to venture more than he strictly needs to.

“I just- I was just curious, you know, about how you’d know someone’s the one. I’m not very… experienced in that regard.”

“She made me happy,” Caleb shrugs, easily. As painful as it can be, this much he can at least talk about fondly. “Our life wasn’t the easiest, back then, but she made it all brighter. All I wanted was to make her happy, too. Being around her was… easy, like breathing. I simply knew she was the one person I wanted to be with.”

It’s Fjord’s turn to nod grimly.

“I see. I just- I don’t know if I’ve ever known anything like that.”

Caleb wants to scream. He feels a familiar fire burning through his veins, anger and frustration mixed with something far more bitter that twists in his stomach. If he had the strength, he would grab Fjord by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, demanding he open his eyes to the treasure that’s been put in front of him. It’s selfish of him, he knows it, but all he can do is think about what he would  _do_ if she- but no.

“Perhaps you only need to pay more attention, mein freund. Forgive me, but you aren’t always the most perceptive one. Let me ask you something, if you could choose, who would you have loving you?”

Fjord’s eyes answer for him, darting up across the inn where Jester entertains herself with her sketchbook. A soft smile graces her features, more gentle and introspective than the one she saves for the rest of the world. Caleb’s attention switches from her to Fjord as the half-orc’s skin grows a darker shade of green. He hears him clear his throat and look away, quickly.

“So, did you ever find another?” Fjord deflects, clearly eager to avoid Caleb’s question.

“What do you mean?”

“After that one girlfriend. Did you ever find it again?”

“Ja,” Caleb sighs. “It doesn’t matter, though.”

“Why?” Fjord asks, genuinely curious, and Caleb wants to hate him for his obliviousness, but he can’t. He can’t blame him for being more deserving that he is. 

“She is in love with someone else,” he shrugs. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. Just… take it from someone who has lost love before. Once you find it, never let it go.”

Fjord’s eyes betray him once more before he abruptly jumps to his feet. “I’m- I’m gonna get another round. You want any?”

“I do, but I shouldn’t. Thanks, though.”

He watches Fjord walk away and catches the way Jester’s eyes follow him across the room. Neither of them has any idea. The pained longing in her face fades away when her eyes meet Caleb’s, replaced with a playful smile perfectly designed to hide the uneasiness in her eyes. He waves at her, feeling like a schoolboy all over again. 

Scheisse.


End file.
